One Small Step
by Frayed Absorption Lines
Summary: What conversation might have happened if Bo and Lauren had not been interrupted by Rainer in Bo's bedroom in the episode 4x12? A small one shot


**This is a short one shot I did for a fanfic competition. I challenged myself by writing it very quickly, in little more than an hour I think. The brief was:**

**_Season 4, Episode 12 "Origins": Bo tells Lauren she broke her heart, and Lauren tells Bo she did everything for her, even joined the dark. Then there is a pause, and their conversation is interrupted. _**

**_WRITE THE SCENE as if they had not been interrupted._**

**If you like my version, and feel inclined, please go vote for it at Lesfan dot com and go to the Lost Girl fanfic voting /fan-fiction/fandom/lost-girl/  
**

**I know there's some excellent entries, but please remember the brief, especially as I think a few have been put up there by accident. Anyway, here it is, let me know what you think!  
**

* * *

The two women looked at each other. The tension in the air was almost palpable.

Lauren had felt this angry with Bo before, but right now she couldn't decide whether she wanted to slap her, or kiss her.

She didn't want to make the first move, but she also knew that sometimes, this was the wrong way to handle situations with Bo. So much ended up being left unsaid between them, whenever they left situations due to anger and frustration. Lauren wanted to at least try to resolve things this time.

Bo's words were still resounding through her head, "You broke my heart!" While Lauren struggled to find the right words to express herself she realised that in any other context these words would have almost been a light to her heart. Not because of the way in which they were spoken, or exactly what was said, but to Lauren this was at least an admission from Bo in regards to how their relationship had actually effected her. She had heard it from other people, even Dyson, but to finally hear some confirmation from Bo… She took a deep breath.

"Is that really how you feel?" Lauren softened her eyes as she spoke.

"You said we were on a break, and you are the one who ran away from us!"

"I know."

"I always thought that I could trust you of all people, Lauren! After everything that we've been through…"

"And you can. That will never change. I will always be here for you Bo."

"But I couldn't trust you with the one thing that was most important to me, my heart." Bo's lip trembled slightly as the words escaped her mouth. Her eyes were almost pleading with Lauren to say something. Anything.

Lauren took a step forwards, and then hesitated. Her hand outstretched slightly, and then froze as she seemed to reconsider whatever it was that she was about to say.

"Bo. I admit, I handled things badly. I needed to clear my head. Dyson. Tamsin. Nadia. The Garuda… it was all up there…" she tapped her head gently. "And I couldn't stand the thought of you… of us… being corrupted by that. I allowed doubt and suspicion to overwhelm me."

"And you ran away." Bo spat out.

"Yes, I ran away. And I know now that it was absolutely the wrong thing to do. I should have talked to you. Sat down and expressed my fears…"

"You said that you weren't happy…" Bo's voice trailed off slightly.

"I know, and I wasn't with some parts of our relationship. But I should have given you an opportunity to alleviate some of those fears."

"Okay." Bo's hand was moving to an unheard rhythm, bouncing slightly up and down. Something that Lauren hadn't seen her do before, and she could only put it down to the vulnerability that she was feeling in the current situation. "So you're admitting that you were wrong?"

"Yes. If I could change it Bo, I would." A look of exasperation crossed Lauren's face as she spoke the words.

"But you can't… you can't change it."

Lauren sighed, "I know… but maybe we can work through this?" She took a step towards Bo, shortening the distance between them.

"How?"

"Bo, my heart was breaking too. With everything that we'd been through… when Tamsin told me that you kissed her…"

"What?"

"Tamsin told me that you kissed her, and that it was nothing to do with feeding."

Bo's mouth dropped open, and her eyebrows knitted into an angry frown, "That little…" she paused, and softened her expression. "Lauren, you believed her? You didn't even ask me?"

"Bo, I was so tired, and hurt… physically, mentally, emotionally. I wasn't thinking clearly… and by the time that I was… things had moved on… we'd moved on. It never felt right. But it was wrong to ignore it."

"You bet your life it was! Tamsin was completely spinning a situation to get a reaction from you! You should know better than that! You should know _me_ better than that!"

Lauren let a tear roll down her cheek. "I'm sorry, Bo… The truth is that I couldn't stand to lose you. Not to anyone or anything. My heart was completely devastated just by the thought that someone else had a piece of yours. I was losing my mind in the _what ifs_ and other people's toxic whispers."

There was a silence as the two women just looked at each other. Both witnessing the pain and vulnerability that was before them.

"Rainer." Bo finally muttered. "And now there's Rainer… Look, Lauren, if you hadn't run away then things might be different. But now…"

Lauren saw the pained expression on Bo's face, "But now you also have to work out things with Rainer." She had only just shown Bo the painting of Rainer in the book, the pointed teeth and demonic image of the man she was now supposedly in love with. "Bo, I really am worried about the whole thing with him… something isn't right…"

"And what makes you such a good judge of what's right for me?"

"Because I care, Bo!" Lauren's voice started to raise. "I may have run away, but leaving you was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. And not for a single second did I stop worrying about you, wondering where you were… and wishing… wishing that I was by your side."

Again the air was thick with tension. Both women clearly wanted to say something, but both were holding back.

"I love you, Bo." Lauren raised both of her hands a little, displaying an open gesture. She balled her right hand into a fist and used her left to take the brunt of the soft blow. "I still love you. And I will always love you, Bo." she added.

A slight look of panic crossed Bo's face, and Lauren thought for a moment that the brunette was going to burst into tears. "You know, I could take this at any other time Lauren. As much as I wanted to give up on you and us, I still held on that you were going to charge on back into my life… but I never expected it to happen now. Not when so much has come between us. Not after Rainer… "

"I understand." Lauren's voice was dejected, and her head hung slightly as she spoke the words. "We're over, and you're with Rainer now…"

"We'll never be over, Lauren. Rainer will never be you."

"What are you saying Bo?"

"I'm saying that…" Bo paused, thinking over her next words carefully. "I'm saying that I don't want you to walk away from here and now thinking that we're over."

"Okay."

"Sure, things are now more complicated, but if things were simple and easy… If things were simple and easy then why the hell can't I get you out of my head." Bo stepped forwards, taking Lauren's fist in her own hand, smoothing out the fingers, and gently caressing them. "And I certainly can't get you out of my heart."

Lauren closed the remaining few inches between them, and placed her hand behind the nape of Bo's neck, pulling her in to her own body. Their lips locked in a passionate embrace. Hurried kisses turning into frantic hunger. Lauren's hands were pressed close to the side of Bo's face.

Bo took a step back, gently easing away from the blonde. "Lauren, we need to think about this. There are other people involved…"

Lauren took a deep breath, and pursed her lips together, "Of course, you're with Rainer now…"

"I'm not saying that. Just let me figure this out, Rainer, the Pyrippus… I have so much going on, and I also need to be there for Kenzi too."

"Of course." Lauren nodded in understanding. "If there's anything I can do…"

"I'm not abandoning us." Bo looked deeply into Lauren's eyes.

Lauren felt her eyes start to well up with fresh tears. "You're not? I mean… there's still an _us_?"

Bo placed her hands on Lauren's cheeks and brought her in close, she softly kissed her on the lips, gently parting them to deepen the kiss. Eventually they broke apart, Lauren resting her forehead against Bo's, just wanting to keep some form of contact. Their fingers danced lightly over each other, until their hands locked in a firm, and comforting grip. "I can't imagine a world without an _us _in it."

Lauren smiled, and then softly laughed, "So is this the part where we go about _saving _the world?"

"And I thought I was the dramatic one! But yes, we both have important things to do, and then we can concentrate on us… on making this right."

"One step at a time then?" Lauren smiled.


End file.
